What I watched, What I read, and What My lil brain thoughts about 'em January Edition ( it's big! )

Who isn’t coping by just consuming different forms of media desperate to feel something that isn’t the crushing reality of our weird world??? It’s fun to keep track of what I’m engaging with and write down my thoughts. Hopefully if you’re reading this you find something to read/watch (or stay away from).


Black Is…Black Ain’t 1994, Marlon Riggs

Marlon Riggs is an amazing speaker and director. You see him deteriorate due to HIV during the documentary and it’s heartbreaking to watch, but he’s never morose about it. This is such a powerful and eloquent way of portraying all the diverse ways we can be black. It’s how you make the perfect gumbo, your mama’s gumbo. It’s the history of people. There is a scene where a black elder said he didn’t know black was beautiful until he heard the Black Panther’s sing it and god that made me tear up.

Born In Flames 1983, Lizzie Borden

This movie addresses so many of the problems that still exist in white feminism today, I think it’s a must watch for people who want to learn about women’s movements and equality. It imagines a future where we do all unite to fight against opressive structures, and that violence can be met back with violence.

Ju-On, The Grudge 2002, Takashi Shimizu

This was a rewatch, but it still holds up as one of the best horror films I’ve watched. I’m obsessed with ghostly J Horror movies and would just endlessly watch these as a teenager. The non-linear approach to telling the story works really well and it comes perfectly full circle. My favourite part of this movie is how the ghost does not abide by “rules”. There is no daylight restriction, the ghost in your bed, in your shower, in your public bathroom, in YOU. The ghost can be wherever they damn well please.

Daughter of Darkness 1971, Harry Kimmel

This is a very horny movie. The male protagonist deserved death and if the movie had had him die immediately it could have just been lesbian vampires for an hour. This is a vampire movie that doesn’t have enough vampirism for me. It’s more about Elizabeth Bathory as an idea for a vampire and how she is immortal and kills pretty girls with not enough of that happening on screen.

Kuroneko 1968, Kaneto Shindô
Very Tragic rape and revenge movie that thankfully doesn’t explicitly show the rape. The cinnamontopography in this film is stunning, the ghostly flow of the kimonos and the stark lighting was so beautiful to look at. The cat demon is only ever shown in 0.5 second slivers which were so effective, but I wish they had been longer. I wish there had been more slashed samurai throats, but towards the end the story is more about the son/husband’s grief over the loss of his mom and wife. wah.

Black Orpheus 1959, Marcel Camus
I can’t believe a white man made this film lol. I have been meaning to watch this for a long time. This movie is so full of life, it’s in the colours and clothes, the constant cheering and singing and dancing as Carnival takes place. It’s so beautiful to watch. I don’t super care about greek myth but I love a lot of iterations of Eurydice and Orpheus (see. Portrait of a Lady on Fire). Any film where I can see black people laughing and smiling always brings my joy.

Nausicaä of the Valley Of The Wind 1984 , Hayao Miyazaki

I wanted to celebrate Miyazaki’s birthday! This is my second time watching this and I always have a hard time because it makes me SO sad. I get to the part where she lashes out and I usually just stop lol. You see Nausicaa for what she is and that’s a young girl with hope for the future, with so much care, and in a second it is taken from her. There is truly so much love in this movie, for community, nature, all living things. There are such important messages to carry with you.

Escape Room 2019, Adam Robitel

This wants to be Hostel or Saw soooooo bad. It will probably get a sequel, it will not be good. Some of it wasn’t horrible to watch but it starts to fall apart at the halfway mark. The true horror is the idea of your trauma being used against you while you have to work on a group assignment with people you just met so you don’t die.

Us 2019, Jordan Peele

My third rewatch and it still holds up. I love all the references that are sprinkled through out. Lupita Nyong’o is a powerhouse of acting and somebody better give her her damn flowers! This movie makes me feel like the first time I watched Candyman and The People Who Lived Under The Stairs. Black people in horror! Jordan Peele is building a space for black horror to be recognized because it has always been there and now it’s going to grow bigger and better. Also going to need every white person to stop comparing all black horror to Jordan Peele, y’all gotta use your brain cels.

The Howling 1981, Joe Dante

I liked that the werewolves had very big ears. I think that was all.

The Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf 1985, Phillipe Mora

This movie was so horny and I was absolutely loving the weird ass vibe. It’s absolutely worth it for Marsha A. Hunt who is a hot goth werewolf. Whoever did costumes for this movie was like gays, this ones for you *blows a kiss*. It’s SO much better than the first movie however the werewolves in this look like sasquatch which is a no, but definitely watch if you love to respectfully look at women.

Hausu 1977, Nobuhiko Obayashi

This is my second time watching this and I’m so glad I gave it another chance. This is a movie about friendship and it should be watched with friends! The first time I was just not vibing. This time though I was so delighted about how lighthearted and fun this was, it’s just genuinely a good time and utilizes it’s weirdness to make things that are horrific seem kind of okay. Some of the best transitions ever used in film.

The Thing 1982, John Carpenter
Not 2 be a misandrist but the men were always yelling and like damn if ppl believed in friendship maybe they could have survived like damn….The horror still holds up, some of the best effects tbqh and still a great movie. I just don’t like John Carpenter’s characters and I think this is the only movie of his I like lol.

Antebellum 2019, who cares who made it i hate them
People said this was bad, but no one said this was CIVIL WAR REINACTMENT IN PRESENT TIME WHERE BLACK PEOPLE ARE BEING KIDNAPPED AND ASSAULTED AND FORCED TO RP SLAVERY bad. So I am spoiling this movie so you don’t even fucking bother.

Dance Dreams: Hot Chocolate Nutcracker 2020, Oliver Bokelberg

Debbie Allen oh my god what a fucking inspirational force. I have so much respect for her and seeing all of these dancers, so many of them just little black kids! It made me emotional it was really good.

The Beast Must Die 1974, Peter Cushing

When I saw the tagline was a werewolf murder mystery dinner party I lost it. When it opens and tells you it’s your job to solve who the werewolf is and there will be a WEREWOLF BREAK to reveal your clue I went feral. This was so fun! I had such a good time. Two black leads?! The Fashion? The werewolf is just a giant dog?

My Octopus Teacher 2020, Pippa Ehrlich

Watched this for a thing I’m doing. The sea is so beautiful and I love this lil’ octopus but WOOF dealing with a sad white man who has to go through this very privileged expensive process to care about nature is yikes.

Black Box 2020, Emmanuel Osei-Kuffour Jr.

This movie is unethical! It’s kind of an upsetting thriller that deals with mind trauma. My man Pretzel Jack is there (Troy James) though. It’s nothing special but the father-daughter dynamic was really sweet. White people get these movies all the time tbh.

Promising Young Woman 2020, Emerald Fennell

I Loved this movie. I didn’t expect to, I thought I would hate it, but I really loved the pacing, cinnamontopography and mz.mulligan’s performance. The ending is genuinely…upsetting and i can’t stop thinking about it but no spoilers.


Slingshot 2019, Cyrée Jarelle Johnson

This is a great collection of poems, the mix of hard humour and sadness. My favourites were Jersey Fems in the Philly Zoo, Harold Mouth Fucks THE DEVIL, and A Review of Hamilton The Musical.

Mongrels 2016, Stephen Graham Jones published by William Morrow

I WANT TO EAT THIS BOOK IT MADE ME FEEL FERAL. if you know me you know I have been coping with being alive by writing a big t4t werewolf story. This book is going to push me to write it better. This book is about so much more than being a werewolf, it’s surviving and family and the struggle of that when you’re not white and poor. SGJ does non-linear storytelling so well, it’s what I enjoyed so much about The Only Good Indians. All the pieces come back to each other to tell a perfect story full of horror and humour.

We Want It all 2020, Edited by Andrea Abi-Karam & Kay Gabriel

This is a hefty tome of important writing! My copy is now an accordion of folded corners, there is such a range of writing here, about all sorts of subject matter it’s so important in portraying that trans poetics spans so many different genres and forms. I discovered so many new authors in this and got to revisit favorites as well. It’s a mix of poetry and prose, there is definitely something in it for everyone.

Time is A Body The Thing Moves Through 2019, T. Fleischmann

I really loved this, I love essays the blend art and autiobio, they write in a very beautiful way. I folded a lot of corners and underlined a lot of sentences. Something in this broke me down a little though and alienated me in my transness, and although there was so much I could relate to it made me feel like my life as I am now was some shell. Which is nothing to do with the work directly but maybe how I will always find myself comparing myself and experiences to other non-binary and trans people who are of course so different from me in so many ways. That is ultimately a me problem and the world problem and I DO recommends this. I’m just sad and trans sometimes u kno?

The God Within: Black Queerness Across The Diaspora, Diaspora Savant Press

Got this from Canzine, the quality and layout is really well done and looking through the Press’s Etsy their style and work is so consistently good. I have another publication by them in my to read pile. I really enjoyed this, it has important quotes and mentions a lot of people who I think I should know but don’t, so I’m happy for such a wide span of black queer history.

Empire Of Wild 2019, Cherie Dimaline

I have not read a book that was so het and horny in so long I got so much whiplash. This is written for middle age women who are horny and good for them. The hetsex made me audibly go NO a lot but the actual story was really good. The characters were fun and easy to love, I almost wished it was a little bit longer to have the ending hold more weight? But I would recommend it, it made me laugh and I enjoyed reading it.

Soratobi Tamashii, Daisuke Igarashi

scream! I want my art to feel like this, these are the types of comics I want to make and stories I’d like to capture in some way. The small details, breaking of panels, truly a master of linework. This is a collection of six short stories, each one this weird beautiful poem. My favourites were Spirit Flying in the Sky, Covered in Sand, and Le Pan et Le Chat.

Wound From The Mouth of a Wound 2021, Torrin A. Greathouse

Woof this is a powerful collection of poetry, I absolutely loved reading these. Would recommend if you want to read more crip and trans poetics!


Mushi-Shi Season 1 (26 episodes)

This month was truly the revisit things you didn’t get into month. I love Mushi-Shi SO MUCH. Each episode is a poem, this beautiful mix of nature and life, hardships. It’s such a quiet beautiful piece of art. The nature in this is so beautiful and I love Ginko as a character. That’s my man! I love him! Please Kodansha please republish the fucking manga I am begging you nicely.


Come Meh Way - Sudan Archives

Brittney Denise Parks’s violin playing on all of her tracks is SO GOOD. Found this song in a supercut of the best 2020 movies of the year.

PAIN - King Princess

I don’t really like KP’s music tbh. She is like this weird unattainable white queer idol to me but also like if I was white this is what I’d want to embody? complex. anyways, this video is hot. the tattoo part at the end was third eye opening. props to her partner for directing this video and making it horny.

I watched A lot of movies this month. Thanks for sticking til the end, let me know abt your January! Feel free to give me your recommendations and thoughts! BYE xoxo