MAYhmmmmm

sure was a month...

gemini season means I will not be silenced


GAMES


Millie’s Math House

I saw this image on tumblr and was like shot back into a carpeted classroom. I keep going back to computer lab games because they were a simpler time. I can’t say I was happy, but I certainly wasn’t burdened with life yet.

New Pokemon Snap
where the fuck is teddiursa? ppl confirmed teddiursa in game without playing it and my bear isn’t here i hate this game!

Its actually really beautifully made, not worth 80 bucks though. it’s really fun to see pokemon interact in the wild and try to capture that but you also get to watch some get eaten and that’s…a lot.

Resident Evil Village
Did I play it? No. Did I watch over 10 hours of lets player footage twice? Yes. I have a weak spot for Resident Evil I find it a really fun franchise because it’s weird and stupid and evil. The earlier games had some of the worst mechanics but I have very fond memories of playing Resi 0 and 4. It’s been cool to see them play with the genre and then convolute it and bring it back to bioweaponry lmao. Anyways. Werewolf vampires…how could I not. The game is great from the start and like, after Moreau (being generous) it is a big slide down into garbage dump land. Woman villain wants her dead baby back uwu okay like we get it a cis woman is only as good as her womb? I think there could have been really cool motherhood narrative portrayed through our tall Milf, even Beneviento, but obivously not a thing the game cared about. I think it left me craving the narrative of Silent Hill 3. The Beneviento level is one of the BEST horror things I have experienced. It had such a PT feel and if anything can capture PT then it’s an absolute joy. The giant fetus monster baby is chef’s kiss horror perfection.

Sayanora Wild Hearts

I wanted to play cos I saw a tweet about it being trans and I get it, it could be, it’s not really the plot though. A very stylish fun good sounding game. I wasn’t really good at it but I wasn’t penalized for that and it even has an option to skip parts that are hard which is really cool. I actually ended up playing through it twice and it’s a quick and fun playthrough that isn’t draining. I will probably play more so I can get gold ranks! or try to.


BOOKS


The Sprite and the Gardener 2021, Rii Abrego & Joe Whitt

This book is so beautiful! It’s the perfect Summer/Spring read. If you love Tea Dragon Society or like Heat you’ll love this beautiful comic.

Eileen by Otessa Mosstegh

I’ve never read Otessa Mossfegh before but I hear she’s very popular. This is the first book I’ve read, there is something enjoyable about a fucked up protagonist who is unhinged that reminds me of reading Shirley Jackson. That said this wasn’t really enough for me. An unreliable narrator is great, but when you don’t like any of the characters towards the end it feels like a waste. I have to say Eileen’s thoughts on having yarn for a brain and simply needing a lobotomy to stir it all about is something I definitely related to lmao.

You were Born For This 2020, Chani Nicholas

It’s really fun to fill out this book and learn things about your houses and signs as it applies to like, the big three. I feel like if you’re going to publish a book it should in fact go into detail about the whole astral chart. This book doesn’t do that, in fact, you’re encouraged to pay more to get the app to learn. I appreciate the hustle I guess but I would much prefer that I could be given the tools and explanation to understand my chart better lmao.

A Natural History of Transition 2021, Callum Angus

I love this book I love it I wanna eat it all up I love Rock Jenny and Migration and Archipelagos. I just! Ugh! Short trans stories are my favourite thing to write and to have this book so full of that set against nature is so perfect and it makes me want to write more and better which is such a perfect thing to have in a book.

Wilderness 2021, Lillie j. Harris

Second printing available at Radiator Comics go go get it! Lillie captures so much tender characterization in this short comic and it’s really beautiful. Colours and linework, it’s all amazing. I can’t wait for them to have the opportunity to make it into a full series of work because I want more!

Fruit/Soil, Kim Edgar

The way this unfolds is so beautiful and I love the choice of riso colours. I love Kim’s work so much it’s so lush and full of nature and they’re truly an amazing artist.

The Girl From the Sea 2021, Molly Knox Ostertag

I love selkies omg and having this be a story about that but for baby lesbians and coming out was really sweet. I really appreciated this idea of having a plan and your life starts when you get to leave and start it. I think a lot of ppl feel that way if they grow up weird in a small town. Witch Boy kind of fell short for me as a complete series but I loved this book a lot and you can see how she’s grown as a storyteller I think. I really had a great time reading it.


FILM


A Well-Ordered Resturaunt 1993, Tadanari Okomoto

The texture and style of this animation is really beautiful and I loved the architecture of the “restaurant”.

The Gaze 2021, Barry Jenkins

The lighting the costumes the soundtrack! this is a short film taken while on set of the underground railroad. I like…love everything Barry Jenkins does. I waved to him at TIFF while we had sat in a rush line for 4 hours to try to see moonlight and no one got in because the premier was packed and I will always be sad about that BUT we did get to go to the premier of The Handmaiden instead. He is probably one of my favourite directors, his attention to detail is…chef’s kiss. Beautiful to watch. This made me emotional, I really recommend reading his write up on creating this it was really impactful.

Stalker 1979, Andrei Tarkovsky

I loved this movie it’s filmed beautifully and the setting is amazing. I will probably watch it again someday. I loved how it managed to be science fiction in the simplest ways, ways were belief was suspended just a little. The setting is what really does all the work, it’s so lush and weird, too. I love the black dog…I love…the simplicity.

Eyes Without A Face 1960, Georges Franju

Good to finally check this horror filme off my checklist. I actually really enjoyed it, I really liked the ending and the facial surgery scene is actually still gross and frightening all these years later. Fun and stylish!

Mala Mala 2014, Antonio Santini & Dan Sickles

Follows the trans community in Peurto Rico in 2014. A really important portrait of the community and not a documentary I had heard about before. It follows sex workers, drag queens, and a variety of transgender women as they go about their life and jobs. I really enjoyed these perspectives and it was just a nice movie to see these people’s lives.

I Dream in Another Language 2017, Ernesto Contreras

thinking about this movie makes me want to start barking or something. It makes me feel the same way Y Mama Tu Tambien made me feel. I really loved that they created their own language to represent the one that was dying. The ending is what got me though. Must be included in the sad homo water cannon, and shots of looking from behind homo cannon.

Obaida 2018, Matthew Cassel

It’s really important to educate ourselves about Palestine when we’re surrounded by a sea of misinformation. I saw this film being shared because Obaida Jawabra had been murdered by Israeli forces on May 17th of 2021. It’s a lot to watch, to know how his life has been taken from him even before his death, but the resilience of his life. Really what got me was the joy he had for cooking and seeing everyone sitting down to enjoy a meal together. I know I have a lot to learn and I’ve found this to be a really good resource.

Tremors 1990, Ron Underwood

To quote my letterboxd review: “ am honestly disappointed that no one would take advantage of these two men bicker like they're married share a trailer and play rock paper scissors and cook each other breakfast are you fucking kidding me i feel feral and i will not hyperfixate i will not but i want to know WHEN THEY MET AND WHAT IT WAS LIKE BECOMING FRIENDS AND THEN FALLING IN LVOE AND WORKING SHIT JOBS AND LOOKING UP AT THE STARS BEING LIKE WE'RE FINALLY GOING TO LEAVE FOR BIXBY I PROMISE I WANT MORE THAN THIS bye... BYE “ which is more about the lack of fan fiction that exists and honestly it’s for the BEST because I was prepared to hyper fixate on these two men who are so in love and married? Anyways this is such a fun horror movie, loved it. Yee haw. Also I took a Uquiz and Val and Earl were my horror homo couple. which proves i am looking for the stupid 2 my stupid.

Things Heard and Seen 2021, Shari Springer Berman

I don’t know why I watched this I really should have cut my losses early and left. It felt like a lifetime original movie. I saw a tumblr gif set that made things look really contrasty and cool and I played myself & also the shot that made me watch it was like, the FINAL SHOT. It felt a little like christian propaganda even though there wasn’t really…any in it. this was so bad it did inspire me to want to write a haunted house book though so. thanks.

Solaris 1972, Andrei Tarkovsky

Fart noise. I hate sci-fi it’s so boring. Maybe if I had been in a depressive episode ignoring everyone stuck in bed I would have enjoyed this more. There are parts I like, I appreciate the concept of your dead wife is back but she’s not ect. It just wasn’t for me, it’s not bad! Just not a fan. Tarkovsky is a talented director I can’t liek argue about that and it is beautifully filmed. I liked this fake idea of what a space ship could be in the future of the 70s. I think we’ve lost that. Honestly…cowboy bebop or bust.


SERIES


Fujiko Fujio A No Mumako 1990, 3 Episodes

The second episode can be read as someone accepting being trans if you squint but not really. these were weird, under horror but it’s not…really horror. I liked the style of Mumako who I guess isn’t malicious…just weird...should maybe mind her own buisness. I guess she did turn someone into a ball.

Petshop of Horrors, 4 Episodes

I should read the manga because I think I would like it. Count D is a gender icon and I like these weird pets. I love that the whole concept hinges on this is a contract and if you break it I’m not liable for damages and then the damages are your death lmao. I wish it was longer! I’m going to read the manga!

Tomie Collection, Junji Ito, 2 Episodes

I love Tomie and I love Junji Ito’s work. I just don’t think it translates out of manga very well. I think seeing this stuff play out in real time does effectively make it scary and horrific, because you’re not in control of the pacing. I just think the anime style is washed out and kind of…ugly. I’m SORRY. There also might be episodes I missed? that’s okay. I will simply reread Tomie.

The Underground Railroad (2 episodes), Barry Jenkins

This is beautifully filmed and I love Barry Jenkins I do. And the music! I think… pushing past the first episodes I could maybe handle it. But they start with slavery and eugenics and it’s a lot. He has captured this tone of horror really well. I’m just trying to be gentle and I think if I continue to watch it has to be at a glacial pace. I won a TIFF thing to see the first two episodes before they dropped and I felt like that was too much to watch. But getting to hear Barry Jenkins speak to the work he created and how he created a space to safely care for the people on set was really inspiring and just makes me love that man. He’s so good! At his craft! I think I will watch the rest like one episode a month lmao.

The Terror 2018, 10 Episodes
I watched this as a flavour and somehow it was enjoyable to watch all these white colonizers die but the lack of agency the Inuit had in that was a big flaw for me. It would have been more intersting to have their perspective on these stupid ass brits being on their land. But go off bear spirit, fuck em up! munch munch. It’s just like, sad and bleak. There is cannibalism (these crazy yts ate it raw), scurvy and lead poisoning! I dunno somehow it still managed to be enjoyable.


MUSIC



Well it was a month I can’t really remember it but that’s just the way it be sometimes. I ran a workshop about self-publishing for Vancaf and you can download the guide for free or pwyw here and I think you still have time to watch me nervously moderate a panel for TCAF if you like as well! Featuring Lee Lai, Sami Alwani and Lee Lai!

Also shout out to Old Growth Press my lil baby with my friends who has published their second round of books! I’m so proud of everyone’s work. Treat yourself to the new publications here.

Hope you’re doing okay, sometimes all we can do is get up in the morning y’know?